Some Where Only We Know
by His Singer1
Summary: Looking for an escape from our problems and seeking comfort we meet and fall in love. a safe haven we create.  we run away from home somewhere only we know. E/B AH
1. Escape

**Disclaimer-Twilight and everything affiliated it is the property of SM. Everything else belongs to me unless i say otherwise.**

**A/N: *Sigh* Yes here i am starting a new fic. we will see where it takes me. I Guess you can call it a drabble ( though its more than 100 words)**

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><p>Silence<p>

_For Now_

Alone

_For now_

I don't have time but I make use of my time. It can be interrupted at anytime.

I walk to the kitchen for the sustenance I need and will need. I'm back upstairs in minutes and I lock the door.

I eat my fill and lay on my bed thinking, always thinking and dreaming.

I dream of a world with no pain and relief. I dream of a world with love.

I can remember living in that world but it was long ago and there is no use dwelling on it now.

I try to get some sleep while I can but before I can close my eyes I hear noise.

The stumbling footsteps on the stairs

"Edward!" a slur of my name

_He'_s back.

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><p><strong>as always let me know your thoughts<strong>


	2. Misery

**I Still have no claim on twilight**

**So Thanks for the alerts and review**

**This Story won't be beta-ed heavily**

**This won't be a drabble fic but almost like it. Very short chapters and frequent updates.**

**This is in Dual Point Of Views**

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><p>I walked home from school to find them at it again.<p>

They were so loud I was surprised the neighbors didn't call the cops.

I chuckled at the thought of the cops coming to a cop' house

They didn't acknowledge me and for once I was glad

I went to the kitchen for a snack and went straight to my room

I had homework to do but I couldn't concentrate with all the yelling. I sighed why they couldn't put me out of my misery and get a divorce. As soon as that thought came I shook it away instantly, that was a terrible thought that came whenever things got hard. I lay down thinking about simpler times.

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He was there when I got home and I could tell he wasn't in the best of moods. I contemplated running back out but he already saw me and it was too late. I could smell the beer on his breath and I planned on running straight to my room until he passed out.

He was staring at me as I walked past him to the stairs

"She called today" he slurred.

I froze my hand on the banister so many emotions coursing through me. I settled for indifference that way I wouldn't get hurt again.

"Asked about you" he continued.

I turned towards him, he was battling with so many emotions and I could see the trouble. I wished it didn't have to be like this and I wished I wasn't afraid of my own father.

"She said she loves you and misses you"

I was filled with warmth and hope; maybe she didn't hate me after all. But that still didn't excuse the fact that she wasn't here with me. She wasn't protecting me from him.

Anger finally won out of his emotions and he stumbled forward

"You made her leave!" he slurred.

I backed up wanting to run but I knew he would catch me it was better to stay and let him vent. His father was an angry a hurt man and he couldn't blame him. He was hurt and angry too, she just left without any explanation even after she promised.

She promised him and then left so he must have done something to make her leave. So he stood his ground and received his punishment. He didn't flinch when the fist connected with his face.

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><p><strong>Next Update- Today or Tomorrow<strong>

**With shorter stories i usually update everyday or every other and sometimes with 2-3 updates**


	3. Invisible

**BPOV**

My eyes close and then open quickly and it repeats over and over again. I was tired and not just in the physical sense. I hardly got any sleep with all the arguing, they had stopped fighting and we had a nice dinner and asked me about my day. So I told them but when it came to the topic of parent's night everything got tense again.

Mother couldn't make it and so she told Charles that he would have to go, he was angry that she was always busy and complained of being the only parent who takes care of me. I tried to tell them it was fine but the arguing already started. I sat there listening to them bicker for some time before I got fed up. I hated them and the fact that they made me hate them and I told them so before going to my room.

I didn't feel like going to class so here I am hiding out in the library trying to get some work done. Tiredness is winning but I fight it, I'm already behind and I don't need to repeat a grade. I will not let my parents keep me back.

Time goes by and I watch people trickle in and out of the library, most don't even notice me. It used to bother me but now it doesn't. I don't like being social that much and it helps that I'm invisible to them. Even if I wasn't invisible I would never fit in with their cliques. I would always be the loner.

**EPOV**

I throw my hood over my head and make my way down the hall to the library. I didn't want to go to school today, especially after yesterday. I usually cover up my bruises but this one is hard to hide. People stared and stared and the adults started asking questions but I lied of course. If they knew the truth my father would be in jail and I would be in foster care so I take what I can get.

There are not many people here except for two seniors and a girl asleep in the corner. I walk over to her and clear my throat. This is where I usually sit where no one can see or bother me. I don't want to be rude and wake her but I can't sit in the open, too many questions would be asked.

I move closer to her and tap her arm gently; she jerks awake staring at me wide eyed. I notice her then; Bella swan. She's just like me a loner and invisible to everybody but I can't see why. She could be popular if she wasn't so shy from what I've seen. She's beautiful of course with porcelain skin and big chocolate eyes. I used to have a crush on her in sophomore year but it faded away.

When she moves I catch a whiff of her perfume and it smells like coconut infused with mint. She looks up at me with those beautiful confused eyes and bites her lips. It makes me uncomfortable in a good way.

"Sorry to bother you but you're in my seat" I say.

She shakes her head and stands up quickly swaying in the process, I steady her before she falls.

"Sorry I didn't know, I'll move" she apologizes.

I see her looking at the available seats as she walks away closed in on herself. I guess being in this little corner seems safe to her as it does to me. I sigh I usually keep to myself.

"You can sit here if you want" I blurt out.

She turns to me uncertain "are you sure?"

"Yeah it's fine and it looks like you need a good nap"

She nods walking back over to sit down

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><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

I try to calm my heart rate down and act normal but I can't, I'm sitting next to Edward masen god's gift to women and he spoke to me for the first time. It's all too much and I'm so tired but for some reason I can't sleep. I've had a secret crush on him since the first day of school and sitting so close to him is wreaking havoc on my mind.

I take a peek at him when he's not looking; he looks good in his denim jeans and long sleeved shirt. Even with a hoodies covering his perfect face, I try to take a peek at his face but it's obscured. I sit forward a little to get a better look and when I do I gasp. It's not a good gasp because he has a black eye that's marred his perfect features.

He looks at me and pulls the hood down even more. I feel guilty for looking but also concern.

"Sorry" I whisper.

He chuckles "it's not your fault"

I know but I wonder whose fault it is. I sit and stare at him while he reads until the last bell rings signaling the end of school. I sigh not wanting to leave; I actually enjoyed school for once and didn't have to worry about my problems. He's a good distraction.

He gets up ready to leave and then turns to me "I won't mind if you sit here tomorrow, I know how it is needing to escape and this is the perfect place"

I nod agreeing but I wonder why he would need to escape, he could be popular and I know every girl wants him. I'm curious but don't want to pry.

"Thanks" I say.

"No problem see you tomorrow Bella" he replies and walks away.

I go to move and then stop a smile forming on my face. He knew my name. So I wasn't invisible to him.


	4. Lead me to you

It was going to be a bad day today. It was a sober day and somehow they were worse than drunken days. When he was sober he would sit and go through every memory and that would make him sad and depressed. There were no angry words just tears and more tears.

But today was a bad day in hindsight of what today should mean. She should be here to celebrate this day with him. She should be here on their anniversary and she should be comforting him. It was left to me and knowing me I would say something that set him off. I learned to let him wallow and leave him be.

He liked to sit with me and tell me all the things he loved about her and all the things he missed about her. He wanted us to be a family on this day. He would make breakfast and dinner and try to make conversation. I had to pretend that I enjoyed this that I was happy and it was eating me up inside.

I wish I could go back to the beginning when he thought she would come back and that she never left. He would put out an extra plate at dinner and stay up late at night waiting for her to come home. I was still grieving then and young when this happened. But after watching him wait and self-destruct and waiting myself I snapped out of it. I had to tell him that she was never coming back. I had to shatter his dream and sometimes I wonder if I did the right thing. Would it be easier when he was that way?

He waits by the phone hoping for her to call and I wait too, she used to call on my birthday and every major holiday. I cherished those calls until they stopped slowly one by one, then the calls started back and sometimes she would call on this day but I learned to never expect much when it comes to her.

I could be in school now sitting in the library where I could be alone, but now I think I won't be alone much longer. I think after yesterday Bella swan will be a permanent fixture in there with me and I find myself smiling at the thought. We wait and wait in silence and in the back of my mind I know she will disappoint me but I can't help but hope somehow.

Of course she disappoints and it hurts more because I let myself hope and that's always the cause of my destruction. I learned that hope is something rare and it's scary, it consumes you until the end when there is nothing left.

I watch him sit there; shoulders slump and the buildup of tears start to pool. He's going to be even more depressed and I have to sit here and watch but I think I should say something. I can't; let him keep hoping and waiting. He has to let go for both of our sakes.

I clear my throat "Carlisle" I address him. He doesn't let me call him dad anymore.

He ignores me but I have to say this "she's not coming back and she's not going to call"

Silence

"You can't let her win, you can't hope anymore just let her go so you can move on. She didn't love you enough…"

I don't see it coming; he jumps out his chair face screwed in anger.

"Shut up!" he yells.

I'm taken aback and for a moment I'm quiet but not for long. I've kept quiet for so long and let him get to this place. He has to know, he needs closure for both of us.

"I'm hurting too but you can't let it win, she's not coming back no matter what you do"

He's in front of me so fast and I don't see his fist until it's too late but I move out the way. His fist grazes my cheek and then the other ones hit me in the jaw.

Normally I would allow this because I had blamed myself for her leaving. I had come to the terms that I wasn't good enough for her. But I didn't deserve this, we didn't deserve this. He was making this so much harder and making my life miserable. All the pent up emotions came rushing back and I used them for power. I was angry and hurt and I was sad but I was tired of being his punching bag.

I used my fist and hit him square in the jaw. He stumbled and held his face in surprise. I was breathing heavily and ready for more. I needed to let all my frustrations out.

"Let's hope for your sake that this didn't happen" he hissed.

I scoffed "It happened and it will happen again, I'm done being your punching bag. Take your anger out on someone else, someone who deserves it because it's not me!"

He was shocked.

"I'm hurting too, she left me too not just you but you're selfish enough to care only about you!"

"Wake up and realize she's not coming back and abusing me won't bring her back!"

"She was your wife but I'm your son and I'm here now, do you want lose me too?"

I was done now; I had to stop before I end up embarrassing myself by crying. I hadn't cried once even when she left. I hadn't really felt the lost and the pain, I bottled everything up because it was easier but now everything was coming back.

I left the house not caring where I was going but I had to leave. I couldn't stay there with him anymore. I hated him now. Hated them both. My feet carried me through the woods on the side of the house; they carried me down a pathway of broken tress and branches. It was quiet soothing like but I could hear rushing water and the sound of bugs in the air. I followed the sound of rushing water through a thick clump of trees and it lead me to a place of wonder.

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><p><strong>New Alerts But No Reviews. I Would Appreciate FeedBack<strong>


	5. What lead me to you

For the first time ever I actually felt lonely, yes I've been alone even with my parents. I've been alone in school forever but ever since yesterday and talking to Edward I didn't feel lonely. I was looking forward to spending time with him again but he didn't show. I thought he was going to be late but he never showed so I sat alone.

I even went to class out of boredom and actually got some work done for a change. I was feeling miserable; Edward disappointed me when he didn't show. I hardly knew he but he made my time here worthwhile and I enjoyed his company. We had things in common with our life and I thought we could bond over that.

He disappointed me because I have a crush on him (not that he knows) but for some time I was invisible to even him and he didn't know me but yesterday changed that.

I was physically and emotionally tired when I got home from school and was surprised to see both parents waiting for me. They were dressed up nicely so I guess they were going out, that was good news for me. I nodded in greeting and started for the stairs.

"Sweetie wait" my mom said.

For a minute I thought she was talking to my dad then I realized she couldn't be, she never called him that anymore. So I continued up the steps.

"Bella your mother and I want to talk to you" My father said.

So he was talking to me and that made me wary, my parents never talked anymore. It always ended in a fight and I just wasn't in the mood. I set on the steps.

"I'm listening" I addressed them.

"We just want to say we know times have been hard and for that we're deeply sorry" my mother spoke first.

"We don't blame you for your outburst yesterday but we want to make it up to you" my father said.

They were looking at me hopeful mixed with guilt, they should feel guilty. I wanted them to realize their issues have been affecting me for a long time. But right now I wanted to sleep and I wanted to wallow about Edward. I wanted to be a young teenage girl for once and worry about my problems.

"I appreciate the sentiment but you can't make up for 17 years and honestly I don't want you to, I just want you to fix it and maybe start acting like a family again" I said.

"But we want to make it up to you sweetie" my mother pleaded.

I was really not in the mood and I wished she would stop calling me sweetie.

"Yeah bells let us make it up to you, we're going for a family dinner and maybe a movie your treat" my father agreed smiling slightly.

My eyes narrowed and my mood switched quickly.

"Firstly do not call me bells anymore, those days are over" I told my father.

"And please stop calling me sweetie" I said to my mother.

"A movie and dinner will not fix things and frankly I'm not in the mood right now. I just want to sleep and we can talk later" I said beginning to leave.

"Bella come on we're doing this for you" my father pleaded.

I doubted that

"Isabella swan be ready and downstairs in 10 minutes, we're going out and that's final" my mother stated firmly.

I couldn't believe it she wanted to act like a parent and at the times I wished she did she didn't. I was happy with the relationship I had with my parents. It was just the other way around.

"Mom I'm not in the mood so please can we talk about this later"

"Give us a chance Bella" my father said.

That was the last straw. Give them a chance? How many did they have? This wasn't going to fix itself with dinner and a movie. I really appreciated that they were trying but all I wanted was peace for one moment. I stomped down the steps.

"I gave you chances and you messed them up, I dealt with every argument without saying anything. I didn't complain but sometimes I wished you would just divorce and take away my misery"

They looked like I slapped them and I could see the hurt in their eyes but I didn't care. They needed to hear this.

"We're not the traditional family and I'm fine with the relationship we have but the relationship between you two is the problem. The arguing constantly takes a toll on of me so if you want to fix the mess you made then start with each other" I explained.

I left them there stunned and went outside, I needed peace and they couldn't give that to me. I walked through the woods in the back of my house and down the pathway of broken branches and trees. I could hear the stream near me and I smiled. I used to come to this place as a child when things got bad. If I couldn't get peace at home then this field was my safe heaven.

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><p><strong>So Thanks to anyone who faves this story and thanks for the review.<strong>

**Next Update tomorrow or sunday**


	6. Promise

The pathway arched into an open space filled with green and flowers of every color; there was a stream of running water and boulders big enough to sit on. Animals flitted around from time to time making it not so lonely. I walked along taking in my surroundings capturing this to memory, here was this magical place in the middle of nowhere and no one knew the wiser.

He walked further and saw on the side of the stream a large rock propped on its side and it had an opening in the middle. It looked like a cave and was big enough for two people. I lay down in the grass unconsciously thinking how much she would like it if she was here and then I was angry that she wasn't here. I shook my head I came here to get away from my problems not think about them.

I watched squirrel scurrying up trees even rabbits hopping from place to place, butterflies flew over me giving the place some color. I sat very still when the bees came eating from the flowers. It was so content and quiet here and I could stay forever but I had to go home at some point. Home I thought, where I tip toe around my father afraid to set him off. Where he's living with a shell of himself. Where her memories still linger and her belongs awaiting the return that will never happen.

I sighed starting to get up when I heard my name being called and the wind blew the smell of coconut and mint my way.

I walked along the path I knew since childhood thinking about my parents, I wondered if I was too hard on them. Al though it has been hard on me for years and I never complained so I guess they deserved it. I wanted to blame my mood on them but I knew it was something totally different, disappointed that Edward stood me up. I guess you can call it that since he stated he would be there and I looked forward to it so much. Then again he didn't know of my crush so I couldn't blame him.

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><p>It was as if the universe was sending me a sign and telling me I was meant to spend the day with Edward one way or another, I rounded the archway and entered my safe heaven. I intended to head for the cave when I caught movement in my peripheral. I turned to see Edward standing up from his place in the grass. To say I was surprised was an understatement, I went through a few scenarios in my head ranging from him coming to see me and to him stalking but I shook away those thoughts.<p>

"Edward?" I call to him.

He straightens out and turns to me looking surprised too.

"Bella, what are you doing here?" he asked.

"I've always come here what are YOU doing here?" I asked.

Not that I minded him here, he could come anytime he wants. It seemed that he fit here in this unknown place with me.

He shrugged "I just came across this place today, seem like a good place to clear my hand and just be"

I nodded "I know I've been coming here ever since I was little"

He looked around and then looked at me "It's beautiful" he said. I had a feeling he meant something else.

"I guess I'll see you around" he said turning to go.

My stomach dropped and I was reminded of yesterday when he said the same exact thing but he never showed. I was afraid of him leaving and never coming back.

"You can stay there enough space for both of us" I blurted out.

He smiled "thanks but I really need to get home, I'll probably come back tomorrow"

"Promise?" I asked.

I don't know why I asked him to promise me when he didn't have any obligation to, I just liked being around him. I had a crush on him and maybe being around me more then he'll return the feelings.

He was surprised but smiled "I Promise" he said and then he was walking away again.


	7. Comfort

He was the picture of ease and contentment lying back on the grass, he had his eyes closed and his whole face was relaxed. He looked like a painting you would see at the museum and I was afraid to disrupt this silence but I wanted to know about him.

"What lead you here?" I finally ask.

He doesn't move but I can his chest rise and fall and the sun illuminate his face.

"I just needed to get away" he replied.

So he was running from something but what?

"Get away from what?" I was curious.

He sighed "just personal stuff"

"I'm sorry for prying I just wanted to know you better" I quickly apologized.

"It's fine"

It was quiet for some time and the silence unnerved me and made me sad. Here he was really with me for the first time and I didn't know how much time we had left. I wanted to know his life story and I wanted to take away the sadness I can feel radiating from him.

"I know how you feel, I've come here when I needed to get away from my parents" I said after a beat.

"Ah typical teenage issues"

I bristled and was about to retort but I knew he didn't mean it, he didn't know me.

"No it's not about me, my parents have the issues and I've spent all my life watching them fight"

He opened his eyes "physical?"

"No just verbal and its always about little stuff, it gets to you after a while"

"They don't love each other?"

I shrugged "I remember asking when I was younger but they assured me they were in love… but now it seems like they're together out of convince and I find myself wishing they would just divorce already"

He flinched and I watched a shadow pass behind his eyes. I was nervous now because I don't know what I said to upset him.

"It's harsh I know but you haven't experienced it"

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><p>Here she was spilling her secrets and pain to me even though I didn't ask. I had the feeling she wanted to talk but I just wasn't in the mood and I really didn't want to talk about my problems. I just wanted to come here for peace and she was making it hard. Though I shouldn't be too hard on her, I can see she's lonely and I know the feeling all too well. She shouldn't be lonely I thought, she's not fit for the loner world. A beautiful girl like her could do so much better. I listen to her talk about her worries and I know it has to be hard and sometimes you want someone who understands. She wants to ask me more but I see she's afraid and she's looking into my eyes and whatever she sees there makes her sad.<p>

It bothers me to see her, this way and I can't ignore the fact that a part of me isn't interested in her, a part of me wants to find someone who understands. I just never expected it would be her and it scares me a little. I can see myself falling for her my small crush returning and this is what I wished, this is what I wished before my life changed, before she left, I wished Bella would notice me and I wished I could talk to her and we would become friends, every cliché I wished to happen.

I'm scared to give her my heart and for her to break it, like my mother did to my father and me. I'm wary and at the same time I want to take the risk. She smiles at me sadly and the sun reflects in her eyes making them brighter and her hair lighter. She's beautiful in sadness and it hurts, I want to fix her and fix myself.

Before I know it I'm pouring out my heart to her.

"My parents are divorced" I say after a beat.

She looks at me in surprise "I never knew, that must suck"

"Yeah that's not the worst of it, my mother just one day decided to leave without any explanation and we foolishly believed she would come back until she sent divorce papers in the mail"

"So your dad didn't know?"

I shake my head "No and this has destroyed him, it's been three years and he's still not over it. I hated him for being weak and I hated her for making him weak. It was hard after she left and I was still coming to terms with everything but it made worse when he….." I trailed off.

I've never told anyone about this because I know what it would mean. I'm hesitant but I really want to tell someone, to get it off my chest. She smiles kindly at me understanding.

"You don't have to tell me everything" she says softly.

I want to it was just a matter of trust and looking at her I can tell Bella is someone I can trust.

"He use to take his anger out on me especially when he was drunk" I explain.

Her eyes widen in horror and she leans forward staring at me intently, her eyes roam over me and then stop on my eyes.

"The black eye" she whispers.

I nod

"Edward I never knew, you have to tell someone!" she exclaims.

I flinch and for a second I regret telling her but I know she's just trying to help

"No you can't tell anyone, it would be too much drama"

"But he hurt you!" she's insistent.

"I know but the physical pain I could take over the emotional, I don't blame him Bella she made him this way"

She shakes her head back and forth "that doesn't matter why are you defending him?"

"He told me I was to blame for her leaving and being young and naïve I believed him but I know better now, its equal blame we wasn't enough for her to stay"

She's crying now and I feel guilty but also relived and happy, she really cares about me and I haven't had this feeling for some time.

She rushes me putting her arms around me hugging me tight, I freeze not used to this kind of affection but she smells good and she feels so warm. She feels like comfort and I hug her back.

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><p><strong>I Know i said Daily updates and then last week happened and i was busy and distracted.<strong>

**So i'm thinking after this update there will be another one.**

**Thanks for the reviews i appreciate it... Also i would appreciate if you would go read either Seasons of Love/Dear Mother And Review. It Would Make Me Very Happy And I Wouldn't Mind Wriitng All Day Updates... Ok so yeha that's bribing lol but yeah it would be nice.**

**Any the stories are on my profile in my stories if you are interested.**

**Don't forget to tell me your thoughts i always look forward to reading them!**


	8. Trust

I have something to look forward to now every day I look forward to seeing Edward in school and after school we meet in my safe heaven but now I'm thinking he's my safe heaven. Ever since the heart to heart talk we can talk easily and we lean on each other.

He's the reason my life at home is not miserable; he's the reason I can get through their fights. Although I notice they have less fights and it makes me happy that they took my advice to heart. We seem like a normal family now, mom doesn't work that much and dad at least talks to me more.

The biggest change is that I'm not invisible anymore it all started when I was walking to class dreading going in when Edward walked behind me and we came to class together. People stared and it didn't help matters when he sat next to me.

We sat in comfortable silence doing our work but I couldn't help the smile on my face but the best part didn't happen till after my last class. It was lunch time and I usually go to the library but before I could Edward walked up to me in front of everyone and asked would I like to sit with him at lunch, you would think he asked me to marry him with the reaction we got.

I could ignore the whispers and focus on him.

"I know this seems sudden but I thought since we're hanging out more, we can hang out in school" he said.

"Yeah but it's apparently a big deal" I said looking around.

"To them yeah I usually ignore girls and you basically keep to yourself"

He ignores them but he's not ignoring me, it fills me with warmth.

"What makes me special" I joked.

"After my mom left I stopped trusting and I'm wary of any relationship but I have this feeling I can trust you"

"And the fact that you're not throwing yourself at me and not flirting with me, I would think I didn't exist to you" he chuckles.

I try to laugh with him but it hits close to home, he doesn't know about my crush and if I was like those girls I would be throwing myself at him as well.

"So tell me about yourself" he says.

"Well I'm an only child and I'm more of an introvert, I love to read and I enjoy poetry"

"We have that in common"

I was surprised I mean back then I could see a guy or man enjoying poetry but now…..

"You read poetry?"

He blushed "my mom used to read it to me... and yeah I enjoy it"

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><p>I've gotten to know his fears and his likes and dislikes, and his hopes and dreams. I've enjoyed his sense of humor and his sensitive side. Most of all I'm happy he lets me see his vulnerable side and knows that I would never take advantage of it.<p>

My parents notice my smiles and happiness and notice my absence and never cared until now, they cornered me demanding answers. I wanted to be like a normal girl and blurt it out, gush to them but I wanted to keep this to myself.

Renee figured it out a mother always know is what she tells me but while she's happy Charlie is being a father. An annoying over-protective father, I would love it but not now when I don't need his fatherly actions. He demands to meet Edward and Renee wants him over for dinner, I'm angry and sad. Angry at them for making this a big deal and for just taking notice of me. I craved it before but now I don't want it. I'm sad because it's not a big deal because he's just a friend and I'm not even sure I can call him that, he doesn't know of my feelings.

I keep them to myself because I don't want to scare him away, he's not ready for a relationship because he has the mentality of people leaving and I understand but I hate his mother for making him this way.

So I smile enjoying his company and taking what I can get and falling in love with him more.


	9. Breaking Through

**Edward**

**"Breaking Through Barriers"**

She was here and there; she was getting underneath my skin. She touched my heart in a few short weeks and it scared and excited me. I was falling slowly and I hoped she would be there to catch me. I was hot and cold wanting affection but then closing off my heart.

I wanted to believe she would never be like my mother; I wanted to enjoy my time with her. It was hard to break this habit and I could see it hurt her.

I wanted to ignore the fact that intuition told me she had feelings because it was easier if she didn't. No one would get hurt if she only liked me as a friend.

Could I give her a part of me, and still want her the same? Would she accept less than she deserved?

I should save us both the pain and end our friendship; I should have ended it when I saw the way she looks at me. When I see the conflict in her eyes, I should but I'm selfish.

She gives me everything and I need everything she gives me what I need and I'm too selfish to give it up.

Lately I crave her touch and I live off her compliments, I feed off her affection.

I deserve to be loved but the risk it takes is too soon for my heart.

* * *

><p>The pitter patter of rain outside and the stillness lulls me into a reality of peace and the smell of coconut and mint is driving me crazy. The extra warmth in this small space makes me feel things I haven't felt in a while. Bella has her head on my shoulder retelling her point of view on a book subject, I'm watching her so animated and it makes me feel light and happy.<p>

Happy I muse in surprise testing out this new feeling; happy is what I feel right now. Happy is what she makes me and I can't get enough.

She gives and asks for nothing in return and now it's time for me to give, I'll let her take what she needs as long as she doesn't want what I can't give.

I turn to her ready to take this risk as long as she is happy then I'll know it's worth it.

"What do you want Bella?"

She looks at me confused "what do you want from me?"

She blushes and looks down "nothing"

I lift her chin with my finger, staring into her wide brown eyes "there's always something"

She takes a deep breath and it washes over me making me dizzy and I'm drawn to her, my eyes zero in on her lips which looks soft and plump. I feel a stirring deep down.

"Well, I might like you"

She blushes harder making her cheeks a faint pink color, which makes her look even more beautiful against this backdrop and setting. I touch her cheek feeling the heat underneath and she leans into my hand looking dazed.

I smile widely "I might like you too Bella"

Her eyes go wide and her mouth pops open in surprise; I take this opportunity to brush her lips with mine. Just one touch rattles me, a faint shock from her lips. She presses her lips against mine, once and twice. I inhale her scent and press harder, she's kissing me back fervently.

I taste strawberry laffy taffy on her lips and I feel warmth spread through me to my toes. My world is a blast of color and I'm nipping and tugging on her lips and she's tugging back. Its push and pull, it's sweet and sensual.

I lean back to catch my breath, her forehead is touching mine and she's breathing heavily.

"My god, I might like you a lot" I breathe.

Her only answer is a smile; it touches my heart in many ways. I could never give this up.

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><p><strong>Aww Progress?<strong>

**.net/s/7564771/1/Outtakes -Important Information Here**


	10. Love And Complications

I lay on my bed staring off in a daze tracing my lips over in over while this afternoon rolled through my head on repeat. It was the touch of his lips and skin and the smell of wet grass and the feeling that my heart will jump out of my chest that I remembered most.

The best part aside from the kiss was when he said he had feelings too, not in those exact words but the context wasn't missed. I wanted to rush home and gush to my best friend about it but sadly I didn't have one still this was enough.

I was interrupted by my mother coming in and ruining my mood.

"Don't you ever knock?" I asked.

She ignored me "where were you afterschool?"

"Out"

"Out with Edward?" she was curious.

I shrugged

"Bella let's not make this harder than it needs to be"

I rolled my eyes "since when do you care?"

She looked offended "I always care, it may not seem that way but it's true"

"Bella we're trying, me and your father it's just a hard habit to quit. We've always argued it was our way of communicating but it doesn't mean we don't love each other or you"

"That's not the way you show someone love"

"For us yes I'm sorry it has affected you and whenever you feel that way please don't hesitate to speak up"

I sighed "fine"

She stared at me intently

"What?"

"I don't want to be that type of parent but I hope you're being careful with him"

I was shocked I almost fell off the bed "we're not…."

"You look like you did, your skin is flushed"

I blushed embarrassed

"You know I was a young girl once, you can talk to me"

I wanted to, I wanted this experience.

"He kissed me for the first time today and admitted his feelings"

Her smile was wide "if it gets this kind of reaction out of you tell him to do it more often" she teased.

I stared in disbelief

"Don't tell your father I said that"

* * *

><p>"Um anyone sitting here?" a soft voice spoke.<p>

I turned to see the new kid standing next to the bench; she was tall and statuesque with pink and black hair. Normally I like to sit alone but she seemed cool and her outfit was just like mine.

"Sure" I replied.

She smiled and sat down "thanks"

"No problem, I'm Bella"

"Irina, I just moved here to live with my dad"

"Willingly or were you forced?"

She laughed "I've always loved small towns"

"If you say so"

"Why are they staring so much?"

I laughed "this is not normal but I'm typically a loner and basically unnoticeable but now I'm in the spotlight"

"What did you get a role in a movie or win the lotto?"

I laughed again "no became friends with the hottest guy in school"

She looked around "I'm not sure I see what you're seeing"

This girl had a sense of humor, I liked that a lot.

"He should be here any minute….."

No sooner than I finished speaking, Edward came striding in holding a paper bag. I couldn't stop staring at his lips, ever since we kissed it's all I think about and we do kiss a lot now.

"Who is he?" Irina asked in awe.

I chuckled and answered "the hottest guy in school"

She nodded "oh I concur"

I smiled happy inside, the hottest guy in school preferred to hang out with me and that made girls jealous. I reveled in it, I loved that I was the source of envy.

He sat down beside me bringing with him the smell of freshly mowed grass and Irish spring. I inhaled deeply feelingly tingly all over.

"Hi beautiful" he said.

I blushed "Hi"

He then surprised me by leaning over and kissing me sweetly for the longest minute ever. I could hear shocked gasps from all over the lunchroom and after I got over my shock I tuned into the kiss. It was addicting, kissing him was like eating snickers but kissing him in front of everyone was like having my cake and eating it too. He pulled back after a minute and smiled at me.

"I've wanted to do that all morning" he said.

Someone cleared their throat and I turned to see Irina wide eyed and smiling "what an introduction" she breathed.

I blushed again embarrassed, I almost forgot that she was sitting here "Edward this is Irina"

"Welcome to forks, we won't mind if you leave suddenly" he said jokingly.

Irina laughed loudly "thanks but I actually like it here"

He looked surprised "we'll we will see if that lasts"

"So what's in the bag" I asked.

"Our lunch" he replied opening the bag and pulling out a container of fries and a small box of pizza. The smell wafted towards me and my mouth watered, I haven't seen pizza in months.

"Oh I love you" I said when I took a bite of the pizza. It was better than ever.

"Me or the pizza?" he asked. Edward asked.

I rolled my eyes "the pizza of course" all the while in my mind I replied "you of course" but I couldn't tell him that.

When lunch was over Edward kissed me on the cheek and went to class, I followed Irina still in my happy mood. She was in my last class with me and we sat together in the very back. I tried to pay attention but all I could think about was Edward and his kisses. If he keeps this up I may fall more in love with him and end up confessing my real feelings.

"So that was your friend" Irina said.

I nodded

"Well I don't kiss my friend that way" she said simply.

I sighed "I know we just became friend but I've always had a crush on him and I've kept it under wraps until he asked for the truth"

"So he likes you"

"Yes but not as much as I do"

"Okay I'm just confused, you call him friend but what I saw in the lunchroom was not friendship"

I knew that but I didn't want to put a label on what we had, actually I wasn't so sure since this was new to him. I knew he had trust issues and his mother leaving scarred him so he definitely wasn't ready for the next step.

"It's complicated"

"I don't see how"

"He has trust issues and he's not ready for the next step, what we have is fine with me until he's ready"

She looked at me sadly "yes but when will he be?"

Her question resonated in my mind all day until the end of school, I was a patient person and I know what he went through so I would wait but for how long was the question.

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><p><strong>I Love My Readers And I Double Heart The Reviews- Keep Them Coming They're Like Love And Motivation.<strong>


	11. Choices And Voices

**Edward**

**"You Give Me No Choice"**

I came home to an empty house the first time in years, the quietness was good for a change and I could complete my homework in peace. I knew it would be interrupted when Carlisle came home but I could admit lately he hasn't been drinking much and he has completely stopped taking his anger out on me.

It changed everything I was no longer afraid to speak out and I could stand to be around him, we was able to have a conversation and he really seemed glad I was moving on and that I found someone and my own happiness. He wanted to meet Bella but I'm thinking in a different way, I couldn't put a label on it.

I liked her more than I should and I could end up falling for her but my guard was still up around my heart, maybe in time I would let her in completely but it wouldn't happen overnight. I ignored the rational part of me telling me this wasn't a good idea; there was the possibility of someone or both of us getting hurt.

All of that flew out the window when I was kissing her and holding her in my arms, this affection I craved from her to keep me alive. It was an awakening I needed and that I could be loved and wanted. I knew that but when does it ever last? Will I be left again because I wasn't enough?

I went to the kitchen in search of a snack and found a note stuck to the refrigerator door, it was foreboding but I had to know what it said. I should have left it alone; I should have done a lot of things. He couldn't even tell me to my face, he was just like _her_ in this moment.

* * *

><p><strong>Edward,<strong>

**I've been wrangling with this decision for a while and I feel that I need to take this risk. I know you want me to move on and I want to but I feel that if I can see her one last time, I have to try and I need you to understand that. You loved your mother but it's not the same love that I have for her maybe one day you will experience it( and with the right girl, I hope I'm not too forward in saying I really hope its Bella). Please know that I'm proud of you for standing up to me and for living, for not letting yourself go to waste like me.**

**I don't know how long I will be gone but I can't stay in that house where we shared so many memories and be in that town. I want to move on and I want to get help so if I'm not back quickly then know that's where I'll be. I'm doing this for me but also you; it's time to be the father and man I sued to me.**

**P.S Sue from next door agreed to check on you while I'm away and if you need anything she's there for you.**

I was hurt and I was angry, he never confided in me about his decision at all. He didn't care about what this meant for me. He left me just like _her_ and right now I don't care if he comes back. I try to understand that he needs to do this but did he think I wouldn't want to go and see her? Maybe I wouldn't but the fact is he never gave me a choice.

The ticking of the clock and the stillness of the house gets to me, I used to find peace in the silence when he wasn't here but I always knew he would come back and no matter how miserable I was at least he was here unlike _her_ and now he's gone too. He's gone to her the one who made him this way, the reason I have my guard up. The reason I think love isn't enough to keep someone.

The house feels like its suffocating me, the walls closing in around me and the few pictures of her stare back at me. I have to get away from here, I move with one thought of going to meet Bella. She said she would be at the place, the safe haven I just hope she was right.

I have no problem admitting that at this moment she's the one I really need, she's the one that can chase away the pain. It's not that easy as I thought, fate has other plans for me as I get ready for my departure. The phone rings and I answer it half hoping its Bella and half hoping its Carlisle.

"Carlisle" I answer.

"Edward?" a soft smooth voice answers.

I freeze in place so many emotions coursing through me at once; relief, anger, and hope and then more anger replaces it.

I quickly hang up the phone and bolt out the house; my legs take me to where I need to be. The wind carries me along pushing me in the right direction, my heart is pounding and it hurts so much. I don't realize I'm crying until he wind stings my cheeks; I don't wipe he tears away.

That voice on the phone filled with love and warmth, the one that would sing me to sleep and would laugh at all my jokes. It was the one voice that would utter those three words every day; the voice of my mother.

* * *

><p><strong>One Step Forward Two Steps Back<strong>

**I Can't say it enough, I Adore My Readers.. I Want to hug each and everyone and the reviewers simple the best**

**xoxoxoxoxo**


	12. Chapter 12

He leaned against me with my arms around him and through the sadness I smiled; I smiled because he came to me. He came to me to make it better and he was leaning on me letting me in, he trusted me with his heart but I don't think he noticed.

I never hated anyone but his mother was someone I could hate and it was justified, how could someone hurt this beautiful boy? Let alone their own child, I was taught a mothers love is the best thing but now I'm thinking he didn't need it.

My love was enough…. This beautiful broken boy was mine.

* * *

><p>He let me hold his hand as we walked home and I was dreading leaving him, I wanted to stay with him I craved his presence and it satisfied me. We stopped at his house and I prepared to say goodbye and leave him when he tugged me along with him up the steps.<p>

"I don't want to be alone, stay with me please" he said.

The intensity of his eyes and the anguish and need in his voice propelled me forward without hesitation. We ate a small dinner of leftovers and watched a movie for the remainder of the night. I was so wrapped up in being here with him I almost forgot to call my parents. I told them I was staying with a friend and hung up quickly, it they knew the truth they would have never let me stay.

I snuggled up to Edward and fell asleep quickly, I dreamed he told me how he felt and confessed his true feelings for me. I knew I was dreaming but to me it felt so real.

I woke up lying on the cough with a blanket wrapped around me; Edward was sitting next to me watching the TV on mute. I almost forgot where I was and bolted up looking around in confusion.

"About time, thought you were going to sleep all day" he said.

"What time is it?" I asked.

"Half past noon" he said.

I looked at him in disbelief and started to panic, he was sitting there calmly like he wasn't aware that I overslept and the fact that we were so late for school. We could be suspended and my parent could find out.

"Edward we're late!"

He chuckled "we're more than late but I wasn't going to school anyway and I called us in sick"

"Your mother called but I told her everything was fine, she said to call when you wake up"

"So you were sick yesterday" Irina said.

"Yes" I lied.

"Don't worry I ditched a lot when I lived with my mom"

She saw right though I but at least she wasn't judging me; I could see us becoming close friends. The day dragged by slowly and all I could think about was Edward, sleeping over at Edwards and wondering if maybe this would become a tradition. Surprisingly my mom wasn't mad and she didn't tell my father, she just said that she could trust me to not do anything stupid.

I sat with Edward and Irina at lunch and like last time he had no problems showing me affection in public and I could see all the jealous stares being directed at me. We walked home together and for the first time he met my parents, Renee loved him already but of course Charles like a normal dad had suspicions. I had to remind him that he wasn't my boyfriend just a friend who I had a deep crush on, he was just a friend and I pretended that I was okay with it.


End file.
